House in the Woods

It came up quickly, and for the first time since I was six years old I wasn’t going to be able to see my mama, or at least talk to her on Mother’s Day. I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel, but my hope was that I would be able to celebrate her, and focus on the memories, and good times.  My family knows that when I get up, and start cleaning, organizing, and rearranging it usually means I am trying to process strong emotions. Saturday I found myself doing just that. It took time for me to realize what was going on...I was missing my mama. I wanted to see her, and tell her what’s been going on. I wanted another opportunity to tell her I love her. I wanted to hear her laugh when she tries to tell a joke, and can’t remember the punch line. I wanted to see her face light up when she opened the new outfit that always had purple on it somewhere, and to pin the orchid on her before we left for church.  As time goes by the shock wears off, and reality sets in. She is not here anymore...