New Revelations

Originally posted on Wordpress 8/9/18

I have been working in the field of hospice social work for 2 1/2 years now, and somehow, this week I became aware of a new truth that I had never realized before. As humans, it is our natural tendency to avoid anything we know will hurt us, or cause us to be uncomfortable. We go to great lengths to make our surroundings, our relationships, even our clothes comfortable, and to prevent pain. This is not “in and of itself” a bad thing, but lately I’ve begun to see that in being so concerned with comfort and avoiding pain, we miss opportunities for growth. I read a quote a few weeks ago that said “all change requires being uncomfortable for some period of time”. For many years, I have clung to the belief that change was not something I wanted in my life. My past had led me to associate change with loss, and sadness. Now I see that change and being uncomfortable are necessary for growth.  Being uncomfortable, or experiencing pain is not always a bad thing! In my role as a social worker on an inpatient unit, where families are experiencing loss daily, I have found myself encouraging those I come in contact with not to fight the feelings of pain, loss and being uncomfortable . We have to go through the grief to heal. Avoiding, ignoring or numbing the hurt only delays the pain. It will not get rid of it.The only way to get through the grief is to grieve and  embrace the pain. Instead of being afraid of the feelings, we need to acknowledge them, and allow ourselves to feel them completely. We have to be uncomfortable for a period of time. That is how change and growth occur. I will not say it is easy, but I know for sure it is the best way to live. We cannot outrun, ignore or numb the pain forever. It will have its way with us sooner or later.


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